Friday, February 09, 2007

A tummy dialogue.

It all started the second week of January: gestational week #7. Until then, I felt relatively normal - a few flitterings of excitement about being preggo and some minor bloating, but that's about it. Then, suddenly, my stomach turned on me (pun intended).

I soon discovered that when fighting off morning sickness at work, every action and decision must be done slowly and deliberately. No room for indecisiveness when tossing the cookies is imminent. As the venerable Yoda would say "Do or Do Not. There is no Try!"

I very quickly developed a brain/stomach dialogue:

Brain: O.K. stomach, I *know* you're upset, but I am standing up now. I am standing up to pull down the overhead screen - it will just take a second.

Stomach: Urble-glurp...glurble glurble.

Brain: You seem hungry. Do you want a bit of food? Maybe you'd like a cracker - just a few bites... Here, I'll swallow very slowly.

Stomach: Blrp...glurgle...rumblerumblerumble.

Brain: Now I'm just going to get up and we'll walk once around the class to check homework. Then I will sit down again. Yes, I promise, just once around the class.


Brain: Fine. So maybe I won't check homework today. I'll just sit right...back...down.

I figured I could make things work if I just changed my routine a bit. So I started munching on crackers and drinking ginger tea constantly. I also started sleeping 10 hours a night. Plus, I began taking every available moment to nap. For instance, my Tuesday prep. period is right after recess, so I just kicked back on the ol' staff room sofa for a nap. At the time my principal had no idea I was pregnant and stumbled upon me curled up on the couch in the fetal position. I'm not sure what he thought, but at the time I couldn't care less.

Unfortunately none of this was enough and I still came home feeling sick and exhausted with absolutely no energy to do my planning or marking. Hence my current stay-at-home situation.

Right now, I am averaging 15 blissful hours of sleep per day and getting practically nothing done. I admit, it's a huge change of pace for me. My body says "yay!" My sense of accomplishment is dead and cannot respond.

I still think it's amazing that something the size of a grape can be running my entire life. I guess I'd better get used to the idea!
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